The search for the Village Idiot

This little fellow reminds me a little of The Little Miss with his pensive expression. I recall the day the Little Miss gave me that look. It was the day I moved in with the Master and Mistress. The Little Miss came across me sitting in the Library, paws up on the Masters desk, smoking one of his Cuban Stogies and drinking a glass of brandy.

Her first words were, "I am going tell Daddy on you." Yea right I said," and that night left her a little gift in one of her shoes. From that day on we have been best littermates.

This leads me to that guy who resides in the White House, you know the one that contrasts nicely with the color! You humans should be ashamed of him closing YOUR home to tours because of sequestering. The Federal Government is spending and the USA is about spent. The problem is that he, the guy that got 51% of the vote and many in Congress feel they are not part of the problem, just like they are not part of Obamacare!

This has put a whole new spin on the saying, " It takes a village to raise an idiot." In this case, I am thinking the village was smart and let the idiot leave so they would not be forced to sell their cows, goats, pigs and chickens due to mismanagement.

However, this kitty would never have guessed he would have been able to get himself into the USA and elected as its leader! Only goes to show you humans, in American anything is possible!

Hostess

I am more shocked by hearing Hostess is closing than when the Little Miss bought a dog home! That vermin did not last long, I planted some fleas on him and in a matter of minutes he was whisked but off to where he came from.

Now, as to Hostess, the Bakers Union would not succumb and the Pillsbury Dough Boy was his usual nasty, pop and fresh self. He was not thinking that his ideas would deflate Hostess and burn the Bakers!

I heard Obama was upset that his favorite snack vendor was not rising to the occasion and  wanted to give them a bail out. However; this little kitty thinks he was afraid of bailing them out and was concerned Michele would cut his Twinkie off.

This is a MUST watch

Making money and spending money, the latter is what seems the be happening to you humans, and us felines with the current Great White Hope, well, as you know, not great, not white and of course no hope. 

Now, Chuck Woolery, with some resolve, determination and thought have come up with a solution.

Now, I watched this and thought Chuck is making a lot of sense until he got to the Albino Squirrel and wanting to cut that program too! This made me hiss, spit and my tail grew 3 times its normal size! I dare he suggest genocide on an entire rodent population! 

Patient I am, and found out that he does care about the squirrels after all…you just have to watch the video ;)

Get yourself fixed!

You humans, what a double standard. Have a pet, you get it fixed so it can no longer continue its gene pool.  Not you humans, it seems there are a fair share of your kind that are in the shallow end of the gene pool,  you screw like bunnies, the more kids you will have which results in more government assistance that is being placed in your paw. This makes me say the Master is correct when he says you cannot fix stupid! Here is a news flash for those that fit the above criteria, GET FIXED!  Look at it as doing your race a favor and the less of you out there with the IQ of an apple means the less out there that have the potential of voting for someone like Obama again.

Why not try and deflect all this to Rush Limbaugh and make him a national issue, we all know how dangerous he is, NOT! Unless of course you are a card carrying Socialist, Communist or Tree Hugger that wants to hide your head in the sand and avoid hearing the truth. You do not want to hear the truth? MOVE out of the USA!

Now, I read an article, and it seems that once again the Liberals are going for deflection. There is longer unemployed times since the Great Depression, gas prices are reaching unheard of levels, the deficit is sky high and the president apologizes to Muslim fanatics. The Conservatives are not and do want to block access to contraceptives, however if you Liberals want to take advantage of them and limit your reproduction than of course the USA will be a much better place.

My ramblings

The pundits are saying now the economy is getting better. I ask you humans who is saying that? They have the Little Miss supervising a hoard of special needs short little people with Abacuses to do some creative math?  

BOB is faring poorly in public opinion because of gas prices. If I recall correctly he even made a statement to the effect of if gas prices do not improve he will face a hard reelection battle. If you think you are paying too much at the pump just have to listen the the Master about paying for the price of jet fuel! The G5 drinks more than an Irish clan at a wake!

When asked the question are you better off now than four years ago, http://www.nationalreview.com/campaign-spot/293296/mere-80-say-theyre-not-better-four-years-ago, 80% of the respondents replied the same or worse. I know you and I are worse off, I am down to 3 stogies a day,  but are the 43% who are the same willing to just sit back and accept another 4 years of BOB? This kitty says you humans better do the ole NJ fist pump and give BOB the boot.

  

For your final chuckle of the day, mark my words, Obama is going to run as the underdog http://campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com/blogs/beltway-confidential/obama-camp-if-election-were-today-mitt-would-win/426896  It suited him well against Hillary Clinton so I suppose they think a second time will be more magic. Maybe one can even say "Practical Magic."

Vacation anyone?

When many of you humans cannot afford to put go on vacation due to increased fuel prices, food prices and energy costs to name a few thanks to Obama take a look at this headline: Obama has gone on over 17 vacations. 

What this kitty finds more interesting is the breakdown of costs the royal entourage has incurred for these vacations, below is an excerpt from Free Republic with some cost breakdowns! Wants to make this little kitty have a nervous breakdown! I thank the distillery for 150 year old Grand Marnier and of course those little people that roll my stogies, cigars if I want to be kitty dignified. 

SPAIN: AUGUST 2010

Payment for the secret service team ran at around $281 each - nearly $98,000 for the duration of the summer break.

Use of Air Force Two comes in at $149,900 for the round trip, not including time on the ground. 

HAWAII: DECEMBER 2010 

$63,000 on an early flight bringing Mrs Obama and the children to Hawaii ahead of the President $1,000,000 on Mr Obama’s return trip from Washington on Air Force One.

$16,000 to rent nearby homes for Secret Service and Navy Seals.

$134,000 for 24 White House staff to stay at the Moana Hotel.

$251,000 in police overtime $10,000 for an ambulance to be on hand at all times 

SKI TRIP TO VAIL: FEBRUARY 2011 

Michelle Obama and her daughters stayed at the Sebastian hotel on Vail Mountain, where rooms cost more than $2,400 for multi-bedroom suites.

MARTHA'S VINEYARD: AUGUST 2011 

The Blue Heron Farm estate, where the Obama family stayed, rents for about $50,000 a week. Michelle, Sasha and Malia Obama flew to the estate just hours before the president to make the most of the holiday - again, incurring extra flight costs. 

HAWAII: DECEMBER 2011

$63,000 on an early flight bringing Mrs Obama and the children to Hawaii ahead of the President but add security and personnel for a total of about $100,000.

$3,271,622 on Mr Obama’s return trip from Washington on Air Force One .

$151,200 to rent nearby homes for Secret Service and Navy Seals.

$72,216 for 24 White House staff to stay at the Moana Hotel. 

You humans wonder why Obama has added more to deficit of the United States than the combined presidency's of Washington to Bush? It is obvious to this feline, add Obamacare and the Czars in how many languages can you humans say "bankrupt" in?

Let me start, 

Spanish, arruinado

Chinese, 破产 

French, en faillite

And my list can go on as fast as I speak! 

 

Gas, eat beans or pay the price!

The Master and I took the Humvee out for a spin today, figured we could do our own stimulus plan.

Filled up, then went on some errands, breakfast at the diner, the Italian Deli for prosciutto among other delicacies this kitty just loves, add fresh cheeses, bread and assorted pastry and we got the makings for dinner. Learn to make these delicious foods at www.onlinecollegeclasses.org. Chef is off tonight so the Master felt like slumming it.

The Little Miss was invited to come along to ride shotgun but all she does is call me incessantly annoying. She even went as far to insinuate that I had Attention Deficit Disorder or even Aspergers. She said there is a book called, "All cats Have Aspergers." I am thinking that she deserves to be left a little present in her shoes tomorrow morning.

The Little Miss got me so pissed off that I did a search on cats and Aspergers too. There is indeed a book, and I even found this on Youtube.



Filled up again, off to the sausage store, well pork store is the correct wording, sure glad the Master, Mistress and Little Miss are not Muslim or Jewish! Speaking of Jewish do you know that Purim is around the corner and my favorite cookie is going to be baked by Chef? YES, Hamantaschen!

Sorry, got distracted. Anyway the kitty version of the article mentioned above states, "In a sign of one major internal difference, Mr. Chu has called for gradually ramping up gasoline taxes over 15 years to coax consumers into buying more-efficient cars and living in neighborhoods closer to work."Somehow we have to figure out how to boost the price of gasoline to the levels in Europe," Mr. Chu, who directs the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory in California, said in an interview with The Wall Street Journal in September."

Now, this kitty's Readers Digest version of the quote. Obama is going to screw the pooch, the pooch being you humans if he gets another four. The Little Miss is musically inclined and thought about commissioning her to put music to a little ditty I wrote, it is called "Out the door in four."

Oil hits 110.00 a barrel

As I type this I have a crock pot of beans on, traditional baked beans that is. I plan on feeding it to the Little Miss and her friends over the weekend.

I had to create a diversion to get the Mistress and clan out of here for a few hours today. How you ask? I had a few of my rodent friends crawl into the Mistresses coffee mug this morning. When Roberto and Claudia poked their little heads over the edge and said, Bon matin, that is French for Good Morning she let out a howl worse than a junk yard dog, BE GONE DEMONS she screeched!



Not sure if it was because of my furry friends or because they were snorkeling in her cappuccino, or both!

BE GONE DEMONS!

This let me get the HVAC guy here for a few hours as they told be to rid the house of the demons!

Mr. HVAC installed a special air handler that will siphon out the noxious fumes from the intestinal tracks of there humans which will be pumped into a conversion station I invented and processed into a type of natural gas. Get it you humans, natural gas!!!

So, maybe the amount of gas I will be collecting will be going up, up and up just like the price of oil.

Is the USA heading to or is it in a depression?

Greece to some of you humans you may be thinking of french fries, chicken wings, transfats and diners.

Not I, Greece to me means the Acropolis, Ancient Delphi, The Church of Agios Dimitrois. Santori, Athens, Crete. Throw in some Ouzo, Baklava, and Amigdelota.  Then of course you can add a good Greek cigar, and this little kitty is a happy little kitty.

Greece has already had its economic boom and of course it went bust. Speaking of bust, anyone know what bra size Helen of Troy had or did they even have bras back then?

Greece and parallels to the USA, the way I see it. Of course, you all know that the way I see it is the only way to see it!

Both are in a recession.

Unemployment in Greece is 20%, if you believe the propaganda, the USA has about 8%. I personally think it is 20% when you factor in the under employed and those that are no longer getting unemployment benefits. 

Greece borrowed large amounts of money. The USA, well China is one of its largest creditors, enough said here. 


Tax revenues for Greece and the USA are down.


The Greeks lived beyond their means and those in the USA are not much better. 

The average credit card debit for a family in the USA is $15,000.00 and that is NOT by choice it is by not being able to earn enough to offset the cost of living. Gas, groceries, health insurance if you can get it, generally speaking getting less for a lot more in expense.


Now, the other facts are here, read and see if you and this little kitty agree the scenario is not looking good for Uncle Sam.


I leave you with this thought, Chicken Little said it best!

20 Signs You Might Be A Typical American Worker

America, it sure looks like things are not going well and of course the propaganda out there is that the USA is just fine. Get the leg up you need to compete in today’s job market with these online college classes. Well, of course it is fine if you are not the typical American Worker, and lucky for me I am not. Matter of fact I am not even your typical American house cat, but you all knew that!

Here are some signs that might be a typical American worker, as taken from my ole friend, Mr. Conservative.

#1 If you are working three jobs and you still don’t have enough money at the end of the month, you might be a typical American worker.

#2 If your job involves asking the question “Would you like fries with that?”, you might be a typical American worker.

#3 If you shop at the dollar store because Wal-Mart is too expensive, you might be a typical American worker.

#4 If your job requires you to wear a smock, a brightly colored polo shirt or lots of “flair”, you might be a typical American worker.

#5 If people are constantly asking you where the restroom is while you are at work, you might be a typical American worker.

#6 If your employer hires extra part-time workers in order to avoid giving anyone full-time hours, you might be a typical American worker.

#7 If you are required to watch a mindless “training video” after being hired, you might be a typical American worker.

#8 If the company you work for is owned by someone on the other side of the world, you might be a typical American worker.

#9 If a trained seal could do your job and you feel like your expensive education is going to waste, you might be at typical American worker.

#10 If you don’t have any health insurance at all, you might be a typical American worker.  Only about 25 percent of all part-time workers in the United States receive employee benefits such as health insurance or paid sick leave.

#11 If your car is older than your kids are, you might be a typical American worker.

#12 If you can’t afford to buy the things that you are selling to the public, you might be a typical American worker.

#13 If the balances on your credit cards are larger than your bank accounts are, you might be a typical American worker.

#14 If going to Burger King is your idea of “fine dining”, then you might be a typical American worker.

#15 If it costs more to fill up your car with gas than you will make at your job today, you might be a typical American worker.  The price of gasoline has increased by 83 percent since Barack Obama first took office, and the average cost of a gallon of gas in the United States is now up to $3.52.

#16 If you eat your cereal with a fork so that you can save milk, you might be a typical American worker.

#17 If your electricity bill keeps going up but your paycheck never does, you might be a typical American worker.

#18 If it feels like you are losing an organ every time you pay for health insurance each month, you might be a typical American worker.

#19 If you feel like your employer is constantly tempted to replace you with someone younger and cheaper, then you might be a typical American worker.

#20 If you are so poor that you cannot even afford to pay attention, you might be a typical American worker.

Asian Markets and not those that you shop at

The Master and Mistress were talking and I was listening as I sat looking at the hot looking babes on the beach, oh to be young and ignorant of the world around you and your only concern is finding a guy with an orange tan, muscle tee shirt, hat, chain and the latest jean! Too bad their brains are fried by the sun and booze, but at times ignorance is bliss.

It seems the USA has lost its triple A rating and now is downgraded.  Tonight the Asian Markets will give you humans a preview of what is to come tomorrow. China cannot be too happy about this since they are you humans, well those that live in the USA largest creditor.

This kitty wants to know, will the USA trade out the dollar for the yen?  Roosevelt said, " a chicken in every pot." Will Obama proclaim in 2011 a rice cooker in every American home?

Just more smoke being blown up you humans rear end!

 Unemployment at  9.2% as of July down to about 8% by the end of 2012!

I am purrfectly speechless at this. Foreclosures are back on the rise, banks, such as Bank of Amercia are modifying loans without even being asked!  Talk about having your hand out! Instead of brother can you spare a dime, now it should be hey big brother I need a few hundred thousand since I was a jackass and now my house is underwater and I can see the fish swimming by the windows. 

Me? I am content with what the Master provides and do not have my paw out like those socialists being created by the White House and its cast of assorted rodents and pests. The last time I had my paws out was when I unrolled the toilet paper in my 10 bathrooms one night and told the Master and Mistress the Little Miss did it. They said they were not born yesterday, so could she got out of the dog house and me? I walked since they could not prove I did it, similar to Casey Anthony!

I take it as my duty to tell all you humans the truth just as John 8:32 says, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." By John I  mean the holy guy not the John that is picked up at the local red lights by working girls. Then again, at least the girls are working, a lot more than some of your other Homo sapiens.

You humans you are being fed propaganda by your "leaders" and I use "leaders" as loosely as if I had a bad case of worms. A double dip recession is on the way if it has not arrived already.
 
So, brother can you spare a dime? If you can, e mail and I will give you my PayPal account!

Housing prices are being washed down the slide

What a wonderful summer day it is, sitting here basking in the sun. Waves crashing on the beach, the smell of salt air, fish, oh wait, that is not fish, it is the Little Miss who forgot to put on her deodorant.

Just got back from having some Boardwalk Pizza, a few clams and a custard from none other than Kohrs. Gotta say I got the life of a feline, wait a minute, I am a feline.

Anyway, the Mistress was speaking with who the Master calls the Ancient One today, he says that she is so old that her former boyfriends have been King Tut and Christopher Columbus. She was babbling like a well fed brook about times of old so I put on my noise canceling headphones and started staking the net and I saw this article.

We are being mislead by our own government! Times are indeed NOT getting better, housing prices are sliding lower than a mouse squeezing under a door. Do you know what mice and those leading our government have in common? Drum roll please... NO BACKBONE!

Home prices are being rolled back to the levels they were at in 2002 and this is certainly not helping the tax base. The economy is not going to come back to a level which is was 9 years ago. The issue is the state, local and federal governments got used to living on good times with real estate values high and spent and spent.

Home values are down and no one in the government sees that they need to cut back just like you humans are made to do. The money tree is not in your back yard, but it sure seems that the government, state, local and federal feel you are the money tree for them!

If anyone is interested I do have some coupons for Petsmart, I hear that Fancy Feast is tasty over rice and Pet Authority kibble is good mixed with some powdered milk and water. Me? I would not touch the stuff, I am strictly a tenderloin, caviar and crustacean kind of kitty.

Obama Care meets Ronald Mc Donald

How suitable, Obama Care gives a waiver to McDonald's and a host of others.

Now it is official Obama is supporting the circus and a host of other side shows. I heard that Biden was told that he was driving the smart car packed with 100 midgets too. There was so many since they knew  their chiropractic care would be covered under their real insurance.

With this said, McDonald's hired a massive amount of people and unemployment is higher than a trapeze performer doing a triple somersault. I think a lot of people just have given up looking for work and turning Socialist in the hopes Obama will get a second term. Lucky for me that I do not like to socialize much with others since that would make me a Socialist. Me having to share my stogies, espresso, caviar and jet with the commoners! Not going to happen.

Obama is full of gas, NOT!

 The summer is almost upon us, Memorial Day is only days away and I am all set for the season for a reason! Dinner parties, cookouts, being able to smoke my stogies on the porch, the only place I can without a lecture from the Mistress. The Master even has out the wine press and has put the Little Miss to work cranking out grape juice and putting it into barrels to be aged in the wine cellar.

The downside of all  this summer season is the price of gas, and I do not mean the type you get from eating beans. I am thinking that the beach, which by the way is only a boardwalk across from my home will not be affected. The Bennies need their sunshine and day/week at the shore fix. I have my eyes and ears out for Snookie, Jwow and the cast of the Jersey Shore. The Master usually has them over at least twice a season the fun loving guy that he is. The Little Miss is not too fond of them, she says they have fleas, and low class. I say better to have low class then no class, then again I did graduate top of my class at kitten school.

I found this video while stalking the net and must say that it is appropriate for these dire economic times.


Gassing Up with Obama from RightChange on Vimeo.

US Debt

I took one look at this and was in a trance. My first thought was that I had a little too much to drink but looked at my watch and found that it was not even happy hour! Talk about a visual assault of the eyes, you humans could most likely compare it to the assault of the olfactory nerves when you enter Hollister.

These numbers are spinning so fact that I could have gotten carpel tunnel if I tried to swat at them! To add more insight you just HAVE to look at the state debt clock, and you humans think that it is clear sailing? If you ask me your ship has run aground with Obama at the helm. What you need is that guy with the long beard and white robe that measures stuff in cubits. A flood is needed to wash all the idiots in DC away so there are some left to save the human race. After all, I do have to think about me!

Bill Cosby says it best.

Double Dip and not the ice cream cone

The Master just got in and he had with him my favorite for a snack since Kohrs is still not open! You ask what did he have? It was none other than a WHITE BAG CONFECTION! This got me to thinking about idioms, yes the part of speech, not idiots they are what live at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC and the surrounding area. You know you are close the them when you hear an excessive amount of braying and the smell of bullsh$%# in the air.

Now, what is my point? It is what the Master has been saying all along, and he even told this old fellow named Ben Shalom Bernanke over some good deli he better get with the program. I almost spit out my matzoh ball, you know the Master, does not mince words nor garlic. We are going into a double dip recession and the only way out is for you know who to be shown the door in 2012.

Double Dip, how low can we go? I think you all should get out the limbo stick, Obama has already lit the fire. Unemployment is at an 8 mouth high, the foreclosure issue is not as prevalent  get out the oars and listen to the Coxswain's chant, row, row, or get the Woody out and drive it in to the shore. (Am I the only one that sees some perversion in these analogies?) As you know, I do possess much higher order thinking skills than the average feline.

The tidal wave is going to come and surfing will be a good skill to have to ride out the wave, lets hang 10 and not fall off the board! This one is for you, Mistress.

Yanks fleeing to Mexico for Gas!

Crossing the boarder for cheap gas! Funny, the Mexicans want to come here and now we want to go there! Then again, maybe cheap gas will keep them in their own country! 

You humans are fleeing across the boarder like rats leaving a sinking ship! Ah, is not this analogy the best! The USA is sinking and you all want to cross the boarder to the south!  Just do not drink the water if you do I cannot promise you treatment at the vet under Obama Care!

Our neighbors across the pond are certainly progressive

Hello Chaps and Totties!

Great Britain, what a lovely place. Tea, London Bridge, The Tower of London, The Queen and my favorite, a nice pint of bitter ale. With the way things are going in the USA at this point in time my advice to all you humans out there is to drink heavily. It will make you forget your problems and put money back into the dismal economy. What? You are not working? That is fine, I head that Obama is releasing a program similar to food stamps, but it can be used for wine, women and song! Talk about a multi purpose voucher, the government will actually pay you to get drunk and screwed. What a novel approach since they are the ones that have done most of the screwing lately.

It seems Great Britain does have some economic concerns, but their government is actually doing something about it. Maybe Obama should get Verizon for his cellular service, and their slogan, "Can you hear me know" may give him a wake up call that the Americans have had it.

Can you all say The Master in 2012?

Now, I leave you with this little ditty, and oh how suitable it is to the state of the USA today. I bring you 'The World Turned Upside Down." 

Gas prices are enough to give you a brain fart

Gas prices! Have you taken a look at the pump? The Master was out and about today and I was riding shotgun in the Bugatti Veyron. Talk about a babe magnet, my eye got so tired from winking when I got home the Mistress thought I was showing the symptoms of Tourette's. When she asked me about it I told that she know I did not smoke cigarettes and stogies are my vice!

Speaking of the Mistress, she was kind enough to do this research for me, and she does not even have whiskers! Matter of fact she does not even have a mustache, rare for the females of this area not to have at least some facial hair!

Talk about sticker shock,  On July 7, 2008--  the week of July 4th-- gasoline was $4.16 a gallon, per historical rates.  On July 14th George W. Bush called for Congress to lift oil drilling ban. A week later gas had fallen 5 cents. A month later gas had fallen 37 cents to $3.79. 5 months later gas fell $2.45 to $1.71. Do the math, you all have opposable thumbs!

Use 80 gallons of gas per month at $4.16 and spend a total of $332.80 OR
Use 80 gallons of gas per month at $1.71 and spend a total of $136.80 ??
 
I don't know about you but, an extra $196 per month could let the Master buy me a box of cigars.  I have been wanting to try these and just cannot convince the Little Miss to lift  the Masters American Express Black Card to make the purchase for me. Last time she did this she was made to pay him back and me? I just acted sweet and adorable, which is not hard for me to do and said that the card that was with them said they were a gift from the Master and Mistress!