Humans, the other white meat

Like chicken? Try the other white meat!  A recent defector claims that cannibalism above the 38th parallel is alive and well.

 Maybe you humans want to get the North Korean cookbook. I hear it has some tasty recipes for your fellow Homo Sapiens. Makes that old adage of what a Chinese restaurant serves  to you sound like Black Angus Beef right? However, I do not do Chinese since I will not take the risk of ingesting one of my relatives.

It seems North Korea, is saying that those who are caught selling human flesh will be executed. We know that this is propaganda. I am thinking that they would be recycled into the food chain as Dim Sum.

Cannibalism brings a whole new meaning to that Christmas song, "Chestnuts Roasting Over an Open Fire" for this kitty. 

Kim Jong this kitty has a question for you. Are boys more tasty then girls?

The Boston Marathon

I was relaxing at the shore house yesterday, smoking my stogie, sipping an espresso when the Little Miss ran in and took the remote from my hand and tuned into FOX News.  I was stunned as to what those sheet wearing little bastards did to so many innocent people. This was plain and simple an act of terror, and somehow Obama has not learned to use that word yet.  This atrocity is equal to 9/11 and yet another terrorist attack on American soil. Obama needs to get off his pray rug and stop praying for Allah to guide him and start acting like a leader.

Now, there is a movement to ban guns since they kill people. News Flash humans, guns do not kill people, people kill people! These bombs were found in Pressure Cookers and consisted of ball bearing. Why do we just not outlaw ball bearing, kitchen utensils and even clothing. Problem solved, since it is clear that these items are able to kill people too. The added benefit is that a Muslim would not be caught in public with no clothing on, then again an added benefit would be they could easily be hosed down since they smell like goat or camel shit.

If George W was around this kittie bets sand land would be lit up like the 4th of July and with this I bring you, "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue.

Chinese mugs so ugly they have to hide them

The Little Miss and Mistress are still slumbering. I of course am with the Master who has the espresso machine steaming and the first stogie of the day ready to blow for me.

 I am on my veranda looking at the beach waiting for the babes to appear, what a life I lead. Makes you appreciate the USA where the ladies do not wear sheets or bathing suits that are 1900 surplus.
 
Speaking of surplus, this brings me to my pet peeve, that country which the USA owes 1 trillion dollars to, China.  Talk about sexy dues and dudettes, NOT! More like short people with bad teeth who eat weird food.

It seems they have invented a novel way to keep the sun off their faces. It is called a Face-Kini. I wonder how they can use chop sticks to shovel that rice in to that small opening! Then again, they are small so how much can they eat?

How does this work for picking up girls and guys on the sand? I am guessing they need to carry waterproof pictures? This concept brings a whole new meaning to double bagger. However; the Chinese may have a better concept. This mask looks like it would be a lot harder to slip off and would save a bag! Reusable and washable too! I am wondering if China has access to Urban Dictionary and I can suggest plastic bagger?

I just had to post a picture for those of you humans who are too lazy to click on my link, and you say us felines are lazy! 


Anyone want to play write a caption?

The irony of the USA

I have been doing some reading, as you all I am a very literate kitty. Headline after headline of the USA and its involvement in what I call "that great big litter box." Sand land, home of goats, camels and a population that likes to blow themselves up.

One of the headlines was about the US soldier who shot up Afghanistan civilians, I couldn’t help noticing an irony. There is all the clamor to try this guy quickly and execute him, never mind his having suffered a traumatic brain injury.

Yet Major Hasan, who shot up Fort Hood while screaming Allah Akbar, still hasn’t stood trial, and they are still debating whether he was insane, even with the clear evidence regarding his motive: slay as many infidels as possible.

So we have a guy in a war zone who cracks, and he must be executed immediately. However; this Muslim psychiatrist, major Hasan who was stateside in a nice safe office all day murders 13, wounds 29 of our own guys, and they try to argue the poor lad suffered post-traumatic stress syndrome, from listening to real soldiers who had actual battle experience.

Two and a half years later he still has not been tried.

I think Achmed has something to say about that! After all, the only good terrorist is a dead terrorist!

Let me apologize, I drank the Obama Kool Aid

Obama, once again apologized and to this little kitty it seems he is kissing up to those that live in that great big litter box. Hilliary Clinton is saying not to take the Republicans seriously, per  Fox News.

What is coming next, Obama's reelection campaign to promise a Koran in every house? NOT for this kitty's house nor 99% of American households. Learn the nuances and working of government with a Political Science Degree. I heard that Korans make good kindling, a lot like aged wood for the fire. Maybe even like a lot of terrorists out there, once lit, it goes up in a puff of smoke!

President Karzai, it seems to me that there is a double standard here. I do not hear you apologizing for the killing of Americans and the fostering of terrorism. You may have drank the Obama Kool Aid

Kira Davis calls it like it is, this is a must listen to!

Off with the Bruka and into the Bentely

Bentely's, Roll's and my own personal favorite, Ferrari, the Little Miss is just itching to get her foot on the pedal of one of the Masters vehicles. I have made it clear that I will not drive with her. People say felines have a short attention span? Well no one has ever met the Little Miss!

Now, off to my topic, the great big sandbox where you either have to wear a sheet on your head or on your body depending on the gender. Driving, something that we depend on and take for granted in THE USA.

Not being able to get your paws on the wheel is just backwards, it is like having the scoop a litter box when there are other alternatives such as littemaids. Me? I have staff to perform this function for me, nothing like the personal touch!

I am speechless that women can be treated like second, third class citizens or worse yet, canines! The Arabs want the USA to depend on them for oil and then also expect their women to depend on their men. All I can hiss is one word. BACKWARDS! 

Baby, you can drive my car!

This Little Piggy went down a barrel

The Little Miss, after eating it for SIX YEARS has declared she never liked pork. I about spit my cigar across the room, and at $50.00 a pop and running the risk of burning the Oriental rugs the Mistress or I would not have been happy mammals.

The Master, he asked if her dowry to a Bedouin could be a life supply of flea and tick killer. He said that if you play with camels and goats, one would get fleas, and the Little Miss would not have to do laundry as often since water is a scarcity in the desert.

I read that the bullet that got Bin Laden was coated in pig fat! Yes, you read it here, gun oil it seems is made from pig fat and this was the product sold to the United States Military. The makers of Silver Bullet Gun Oil claim it contains 13 per cent USDA liquefied pig fat thus making the product 'a highly effective counter-Islamic terrorist force multiplier.'

The Good Book of Terrorists (Quran) says that In Islam consumption of pork is forbidden, but the Quran also states that if one is forced to consume the meat then they are guiltless and therefore not disqualified from paradise.So, to me this translates to the Bin Laden could enter paradise, but doubt he ever made it since he was closer to hell when he hit the water and sunk.

Do you think the last words Bin Laden said were Sooee,Sooee,Sooee? We will never know, but what I do know is it is cocktail time so think I will settle back with two shots and a splash of water and enjoy the rest of my evening!

Russian's and Cadillac's

Good Morning America and world! It is a lovely day in the neighborhood and I do not even like Mr. Rogers, he is too nice for me. Then again, as I tell the Little Miss, any day is a good day if you wake up breathing and have no dogs underfoot.

I am sipping my espresso, freshly roasted by The Master and watching the seagulls, which has me thinking of a nice roasted fowl tonight for dinner. Maybe I can get Cook to make one, she was just hired so she needs to know who runs this place, which is me of course. Remember it is a right to be put on a pedestal not a privilege. Food, this leads me to my topic of today.

The Russian military, corruption and dire economic times. Sounds like a trailer for a new end of the world movie. It seems they were fed dog food and told it was a stew! It took about thirty days for anyone to notice! How good can their food be looking at this? The clue was the troops started to howl at the moon, dig fox holes constantly, were burying their guns and took an affinity to riding in trucks, jeeps, cars, anything with a motor so they could hang their head out.

The power of the mind and suggestion, an interesting experiment for me.  Maybe I can re label the Lima Beans as Peas and see if the Mistress will eat them or dig up a can of Fancy Feast, re label it as stew and see if the Little Miss would eat it. This reminds me of the time the Little Miss got sick, The Master found some of my kitty antibiotics in the medicine chest, tripled the dose and gave them to her. He stopped once she started to grow whiskers and meow!

During World War II the Americans were called dog faces? I think the history books need to rethink that after what I just pontificated upon. 

Where else in the world could you get information a culinary AND history lesson all in one place? Now that is a rhetorical question, but in case you do not know, kittycatchats.com.

Now, for for your viewing pleasure, what I think gave the Russian leaders the idea!

Bewitched

It seems that with the demise of Bin Laden no matter where I look I the USA seems obsessed with Arab News, my first thought is that it must be making Obama feel right at home. I even suggested to the Little Miss that she send him a letter and ask if he wanted her to come and blow her horn while he faces east on the Oval Office's rug. Talk about not being appreciated for my suggestions, she had the nerve to squirt me with a super soaker! 

Now it seems that Ahmadinejad allies are being charged with sorcery, the Master has always said that the great sand box in the Middle East was backwards and this only confirms what we all knew, the Master as well as I are right 100% of the time. The history books says that the USA had this occur back in 1692, during the Salem Witch Trials, and now we have progressed, but as you can see, 2011 in the Middle East and this is occurring, so it stands to reason they are about 320 years behind the times!

It is said that some have invoked djiins, spirits.  To those that do not reside in sand land this gives me the chance to recall the story of "Aladdin and the Magic Lamp" and provide you with my re written version. The witty, intelligent feline that I am.

In the story you have the blue Jeanie, the green Jeanie, Aladdin, The Uncle, The Sultan and Princess. However in my story Aladdin is George #42, The Uncle is of course none other than Bin Laden, The Sultan is George W, #43 and the Princess is Sarah Palin. Of course, we have the Jeanie's, but in this case they are red, white and I added a third of blue.

Long story short, the USA gets its wish, Bin Laden is now a seafood supper, the Middle East is turned into a sheet of glass, all the oil is now under US control and we all live happily ever after.

This one is for you, Ahmadinejad. Just remember to tell your allies that they need to jump into the wind!

Bin Laden is now seafood

The Mistress awoke the Master from his slumber early this AM saying BIN LADEN IS DEAD! Me? I was dead to the world too and took offense by being awakened from my slumber, dreams of caviar, fine cigars, brandy and hot looking babes.

I made the best of it, I hoofed it on down to the Media Room and there on the 72" Plasma, HD of course was  the news of his demise. At first I thought that Obama had cut some corners and sent a troupe of circus performers after him since I heard the word "seals" mentioned and then "Black Hawk." What could be worse than a bunch of angry walrus wannabes and a predator bird after you? After reflecting on this, I would say a parade of angry clowns, and they are all located in Washington DC.

In my stalking of the Internet I have come across many stories and one even says that Bin Laden was "double tapped" on the cheek. You humans, I thought that you wanted to kill him not kiss him.

Turns out that I was mistaken, on both accounts. The Seals were really USA Special Forces that were used to sniff him out and terminate the rat. The Black Hawks are helicopters and "double tapped" means to have shot the critter twice.

Bin Laden is now seafood and just hope an environmental protection agency does not sue the USA for dumping shit into the ocean!

All in all it was a good day for the USA, and if no one said it THANK YOU George W!

For Al Queda and all other that are sulking about with intent to do harm to the USA, this song is for you, and as the Special Forces slogan goes, "kill them all and let God sort them out."

Kiss this

Friday for the Royal Wedding when I first heard about this I just about pounced off my cat tree I was so excited. I heard royal and wedding and my first thought was YES, the Little Miss has finally been married off, and it was the first time in a long time my sensitive kitty ears did not hear the words royal followed by pain in the arse, then I would know for sure the Master was talking about the Little Miss.

So, weddings, the Master and Mistress packed up and were included on the guest list, I was stuck at home with the Little Miss, someone had to watch her. It was not too bad, sleeping pills in her dinner work wonders, early to bed early to rise makes Mr. Kitty Cat wise, the Master is the wealthy one.

As weddings go the Master and Mistress said it was a big success, and that I would have loved it. Seems that the ladies all wore fancy hats with feathers and other items that bobbed up and down. It would have been a swat fiesta for me!

History was made, William and Catherine got hitched and a new page is opened on the Monarchy. The Queen is doing so well and looks lovely. I would love to see her dance, The Electric Slide, YMCA for starters,  if she can walk so well in her late 80's she has to have some moves hidden in there.

The question to ask is if Charles will ever sit on the throne, as it is now it is a record breaking reign for Queen Elizabeth. Would England be better off handing off the Scepter to William to rule? Will Catherine be new Diana and capture the hearts of millions world wide? Only time will tell, but personally, this kitty is happy that they are happy!







 

Mr. Kitty Cats Doctrine on Libya

 Obama Doctrine on Libya

Bush  Doctrine on Libya

Palin Doctrine on Lybia


Mr. Kitty Cats Doctrine on Lybia:

Kill them all and let God sort the out, short and sweet, says it all. Urban renewal at its finest!

Makes me think of that old song, "Sky Rockets in Flight" and what a delight it is!

Islamist Regimes do not wear jeans

Islam seems to be the next epidemic that is spreading much like a bad case of fleas. Guess if you wear a towel around your head, a dress and hang around with camels most of the day you would have fleas too.

Obama is saying that Islamic beliefs and democratic politics are not incompatible! This is like saying that I can live with a dog! Living with the Little Miss is enough stress for me! The below says it all!

"Some within the U.S. intelligence community, foreign diplomatic circles and the Republican Party say Obama's readiness to accept Islamist movements, even ones that meet certain conditions, fails to take into consideration the methodical approach many such parties adopt toward gradually transforming secular nations into Islamic states at odds with U.S. policy goals." Scott Wilson Washington Post Staff Writer Friday, March 4, 2011

The transforming of secular into Islamic states! That is about equal to the transfiguration and would take a litter pail full of faith or drink gallons of the chosen Kool Aid. Maybe they should distribute He'brew beer, some explosives, cases of duct tape and instead of getting drunk and screw; they could get drunk and blow themselves up. However, in the true Democratic fashion give them the choice of this or Walter for President! Problem solved either way!

UNVEIL or pay a fine!

For those of you that read my recent post it sure seems that the USA is going backwards and France is leaping ahead like a frog on too much espresso, which is my favorite beverage!

Way to go France, those Muslims over there that do not uncover their face will be fined! I was thinking about this, and the wearing of a veil gives the meaning "double bagger" a whole new way of looking at things. For those that do not understand Northern humor here is what it means:

Double Bagger (n.) – When you need to put a bag over the girl your with and your own head in case hers falls off.

Hmmmm...makes me wonder if we will not see the divorce rate of Muslims increase once they uncover their faces, or maybe they will just blow themselves up instead!

France and Dinner Scraps!

Hi all, miss me? The Master was called away and I decided to follow along, with all the stress I am under I needed a Kit Kat break, but I do not do chocolate. Not good for my complexion or health!

So, let us talk about France, the country that the Coneheads are from after all who would be brave enough to claim they were from this country! BUT, it seems that France may be the go to place for those Americans that do not want Obama and his greedy minions from playing Robin Hood.

Run, Forest, Run or in this case, Run upper class Americans, jump across the pond and enjoy wine, women and song! Throw is some escarogt, Chevre Cheese, and a little Beret, I am all set.

Now, for all those that do not know the Coneheads, let me give them a big lion roar and here they are!

Qaddafi offers 400 per family

If you know me, I have NO need for that big sandbox in the Middle East, oil prices are soaring higher than the blood pressure of the Master each time he has to pay for a load of jet fuel. He is insisting that those that run OPEC have their towels tied too tightly around their heads! Maybe even smelled too much camel dung too!

Oil prices increase, gas prices increase, along with this comes the increase in the cost of food! I love to chew on greens and the butler informed me that lettuce was now $2.50 a head so this was no longer possible. Yea right, I went right to the Master over this and well, it seems there was a misunderstanding said the butler. Yea right, I am not deaf, just wait until the guy goes and puts on his shoes and sees what I left for him.

With all this said, this Qaddafi fellow has the right idea, giving each family $400.00 for raising food costs. I do not see this happening here. Obama is more worried about his latest vacation or party and forget about the people that actually make the USA run. Maybe instead of a Motown night at The White House he should have some of the country folks in that George W listened too, but if he did that he would be reminded that he is not the supreme being he thinks he is and that the people of the USA are what it is all about.

The Master says you need to be nice to all the people on your way up the ladder since you will meet them all on the way back down. Obama, are you listening?

Jumping Oil

I heard the Master complaining on the telephone to his staff at the hanger and the cost of his recent load of jet fuel. It seems that prices are jumping higher than a flea on those energy drinks the Little Miss enjoys so much. Me? I prefer espresso and a good stogie!But, the Master did fill her up, so guess things cannot be that bad, and yes, the food in this place still meets my standards, so life is good.

Anyhow, the price of oil, the Master said to his minion that was on the other side of the line if he was expected to just pick the oil off the tree. My first thought was, go for it Master, you never have picked olives before, get it, olive oil! Kitty Humor here!

Now, it turns out that big sandbox, Libya is stirring the old cauldron and it is not even Halloween, now there would be a site, Gaddifi dancing naked around the Calderon? Turmoil in Lybia, Egypt, seems to me that they are in one big cat fight and the fur is starting to fly!

Personally, I think Barack should take the water bottle and squirt them all into submission! Then again, let us face it, the USA under its current leader acts more like a dog with its tail between its legs and not the top of the food chain species like in the days of the George's!

Speculation is that the USA may see prices as high as $4.00 a gallon, but then heard that if it gets as high as $3.50 you humans will just stop driving. Makes perfect sense to me, but does anyone realize how this is going to impact food costs.

Like anything , the idiots in DC that are charged with running the USA are clueless, and that is why I keep telling the Master to be a write in for 2012! Come on you humans, you can do it! Vote the THE MASTER of Mr. Kitty Cat in 2012!

US agrees to tell Russia Britain's nuclear secrets

I just read this and coughed up a hairball, good thing the Master had an old newspaper laying around that had Obama's picture on it! It landed right smack in the middle of his face. How do I know the newspaper was outdated? The guy still had some gray in his hair!

The USA is selling out our Cousins across the pond! How ungrateful is that! Washington DC has the memory of an un medicated ADD person, and you humans claim us felines have ADD!

Why in the world would anyone want to let the cat out of the bag and disclose the amount of items in ones nuclear arsenal? That is like playing poker and letting the other players see your paws! How many ways can you say sell out?

I just have a hard time understanding the logic behind all this, maybe it is a case of spoiled fish and Obama and crew are slighted they are not being invited to the Royal Wedding and playing tit for tat. No matter what the case, it was about as sneaky as a mouse sneaking into the bird feed that the Master has in the garage.

Hati One Year Later

The Internet, what a great invention. Did you know that the earthquake in Hati was about a year ago today!

My first thought was "The earth moves under my feet." Brings a whole new meaning to rock and roll! Next I thought of Carole King, her voice is so much better than mine. Impressed as to how my mind works? The Little Miss says I have ADD, yea right, that is like the pot calling the kettle black.

Those little Hatians saw the USA and those Jolly Greens, that is for those who do not fly, Sikorsky MH-53 Pave Low and their hearts sure did start to tremble. Free food! What is not to like! Guess it is a lot like feeding time here, never know what delectable delicacy will be put on the table.

This great humanitarian effort brought tears to my eyes and so did this link for the slide show, talk about scared! For a brief moment I thought I was becoming a Socialist or even worse Liberal.

The only time I get tears in my eyes are when I had worms and a poisonous substance was shoved down my throat to expel those demons. For the record that was ONE time, when the Little Miss bought home a science project and it got loose. They were the days of me in my organic food phase, lasted maybe 2 days, found that cooked food beats raw any day, unless of course you are talking Sushi or Sashimi. Other than that, the only other times I get a tear in my eye are when the Master gets his GRAND MARNIER CENTENAIRE 750 ml delivery, smelling the scent of my hand rolled stogie and of course if I think I am running late for dinner.

See the theme here, it is all about me! It is a right to be put on a pedestal not a privilege.

New ways for drugs to enter the USA, maybe illegals too!

Another cold one here and I do not mean the brewery type, too early for me to be kicking back the suds, that is for later tonight. The chef has on the menu Nachos and assorted other goodies that will tempt my taste buds.

This brings me to the article I just read while I was waiting for the Master to prepare my morning beverage, what else, espresso. It was a good thing too that I was not taking a sip while reading this, least we could have had a mess.

It seems now the Mexicans, yea you know them, the vermin that seem to be invading the USA like a bad case of some sexually transmitted disease opted out of the dog route, tunneling to get drugs across the boarder to the catapult method. Maybe they watched Disney's Peter Pan too much while smoking that wacky tobacco! Me, give me my stogies any day of the week.

Digging vs flying in a sense I am a little disappointed in the method, it does display some out of the litter box kind of thinking but seems more typical of a stunt that those over in that big sand box, The Middle East since we all know that most countries over there should be sent back to the Stone Age, I would call the plan Operation Urban Renewal, building back from the ground up! But, that is another topic for another sunrise or sunset!

The Mexicans, well, I head that if the throwing of drugs across the boarder is not successful they will be using it to launch more illegals across the boarder. I can just here the sales pitch for getting people for this method and you would even get a free customized t shirt with this

It's a bird, it's a plane, NO it is Paco! (insert name in bold)

Now, for your viewing pleasure the movie that started in all!